Good Morning Treetops,
Or is it raindrops? I actually had a great nights sleep last night, something very rare. I almost felt human. Somedays I wake up, and for a minute I forget that I have parkinson’s. Then I get out of bed and it all comes back to me - no Andy, that wasn't just a bad dream. I get out of bed and the first thing I notice is that I can’t feel my legs; I know they’re still there - just can’t feel them touch the floor.
But, I get up anyway, reality has set in - this ain’t no dream. I trust they will hold me up as I slowly use them to do the concrete shuffle to the bathroom. Some mornings are better than others. This mornings threat level I would rate about a 4, with a 10 being no parkinson’s and 1 being in a wheel chair. Since this gift of pd will always increase in value, my chances for a two rated day also increases. I have no control or options - My legs are along for the ride. A Taxi ride through life.
Try to imagine your legs- hands - arms - body incased in concrete, very light concrete, but concrete none the less. You and that concrete are inside a NYC cab - the driver speaks very little English. This Is one of the many ways you could describe it. There are plenty of others and they are all correct.
I answer the call, then float downstairs to make a cup of coffee and take my first two pills of the day - pills that help my legs pay the fare and step out of the Taxi.. It takes awhile for the medication to arrive to my brain where it’s job awaits, sometimes fifteen minutes - sometimes an hour. I don’t wait - I ask the driver to pull over and I get out on 2nd Ave. around 14th St. I only have a block to walk. My driver lets me do this now, but I don’t know for how much longer.
No one knows for how much longer - could be 20 years - could be six months. My legs are along for the ride; my whole body, mind and soul are along for the ride, I am only a passenger and I cannot control where this vehicle goes. I can’t control if it will stop and let me out so I can walk, or if it will lock all the doors and just circle around in a bad part of town - running up the fare. I can’t think about that right now though, I’ll think about it later.
But in real life, when you step into a cab you DO have control, you can tell the driver not to let you off in this unknown section of the Bronx and take you to Washington Square where you can sit in the sunshine. You can do this if you have the currency to pay the fare. But what is the proper fare in my analogy of the taxi of concrete numbness? I don’t know - please tell me. Right now I am paying with 12 -14 little yellow pills of a drug called Sinemet daily, along with a skin patch of yet another drug that helps the first drug do it’s job better. I pay by getting up each morning with a reason to smile, a reason to laugh, a reason to live. I also pay with almost constant exercise - exercise is the only form of payment most of the nice places I like to go will accept. I’m doing OK, and I’m very thankful to god and all my guests this morning for the wherewithal to pay this nice cabdriver man who will get a decent tip.
Thank you for reading my ramblings this morning, I love each and everyone of you - you all inspire ME. And don’t worry, I’m doing fine, I’m still getting around Manhattan pretty well. I can still hail a cab in the rain, and if someday I can’t - there’s always a bus or the subway - Naw, I can afford it - I’ll call a car service.
just say yes!
meet Andy Ward King, a professional musician and artist until a diagnosis of parkinons dsease at age 49 forced him into an early retirement., he now uses his music, his art along with the whimsical world he has created in this blog as therapy to ( as he puts it ) outsmart his brain and make the daily battles with parkinson’s a little bit easier, to give him that all important reason to get up on the morning, to make his life worth living. Andy has learned how to say NO to gving up \ NO to depression and apathy \ NO to following willingly the road of decline that stretches before him. he learned that to say no to all of these things all one has to do is say yes. Andy has learned to just say YES to life/\\