Good morning oh wise ones.
What are wisdom teeth? And if they are so wise, why do Dentists yank them out when they first show up at the party?
I am a self taught Dentist, I can illegally and unethically remove teeth - drill out cavities - put in fillings (you provide the aluminum foil) and score you pain killers from my man who lives on McDuff Ave at I-10. I have an 8th grade education, so my prices are very low but, I will not remove your wisdom teeth. First off, it requires x-rays since they are located so far back in the mouth. My homemade x-ray machine I believe is responsible for my hair loss, so I sold it to the TSA. Second, since they are “wisdom” teeth, and as a whole, we are in dire need of more wisdom - I choose to leave them in.
DENTAL SALE OF THE MONTH - I am currently offering free whitening with every extraction - please bring your own Novocain and Clorox. Get that hollywood smile you’ve always wanted.
Since I am not allowed to work on myself, I had all four of my wisdom teeth removed (I didn’t say it shouldn’t be done, just that I wouldn’t do it.) during my time in the Army. All four - same time - no anesthetic. Was I a brave soldier? Is that why I chose not to use anesthesia. No, I wasn’t that brave, but the female Dentist was that pretty. The female dentist and her two beautiful female assistants who surrounded me with their bosoms as the probed into my open mouth were all that pretty. That was the end of any wisdom I might of had. Women have a way of taking a man’s wisdom and sealing it in tupperware. I don’t
hIde the fact that this is a good thing. Good, for it stands to reason, that, if his wisdom can be taken, his penis can also be removed.
And people know that a man’s penis is where all trouble in the world originates. I can get along fine without wisdom, but two hours without a penis could kill me. And I would take quite a number of people with me.
But, women will still take your little Andy. This can be difficult for them, since we are always holding on to it., and you wondered why we did that. Tupperware makes a fine hot-dog container that seals in the erectile capabilities plus keeps it fresh., and you also wondered why women love Tupperware. Men hold on to yourself, for they will take your pride and joy and only let you wear it out when they know they can keep an eye on you. But really, can you blame them? They are oh so much wiser than us.
See You Later,
DR. GIRLFRIEND - JAX’s WEIRDEST BAND EVER.
Sat June 21st (the longest day of the year) is also the debut of JAX’s latest addition to the music sphere.
The weirdest band in town - Dr. Girlfriend. I wanted to make sure the line-up was complete and everyone had pressed the “Yes” button. No “Maybes", No "Well I mights" No "let’s wait and sees” those all mean one thing to me during the audition process - - - NEXT! Well thank the toads that ordeal is over. It’s time to get to work.
Dr. Girlfriend is a mixture of styles and genres that can best be described as Ameritronica. We take our traditional southern, bluegrass and country roots and mix them with modern world, pop and electronic music. Americana + Electronica = AmeritronikÅ. Here’s the lineup for June 21st.
What do I mean by JAX’s WEIRDEST BAND?
We have redefined the meaning of Weird, like the KEEP AUSTIN WEIRD or the MAKE JAX WEIRD people have done. Dr. Girlfriend will be a roving theatre of the absurd and surreal, with a stage show you will never forget. More than just play music DG will provide the soundtrack for your own private movie - the private movie that is your life. We’ll hit a town like a loving happy tornado - Your idea of entertainment will be forever changed.
Weird – /wi(ə)rd/ :
1. Unconventional, outside the norm.
2. Progressive, ecologically balanced, local, creative and sustainable initiatives that foster community
Being weird means performing a progressive act that betters our community. Weird is an intentional undertaking defined by the desire to incorporate creative, sustainable and local practices into one’s personal, professional and artistic life.
The hope for Dr. Girlfriend is to achieve an economically and environmentally sustainable musical and visual touring company. Our main venues will the many outdoor alternative music festivals that are held all around the world. A mutual admiration society that becomes a family, a family that creates together and supports each other - Emotional Sustainability. All support and salaries coming from ticket, CD and merchandise sales - Economic Sustainability. All of this will be achieved with the smallest carbon footprint possible. Bio-Diesel transportation, connectivity with local organic farms and other sustainability based resources. (also not shopping at chains etc.) Environmental Sustainability.
That’s not the Weird part - that should be the norm. The WEIRD part I’ve learned from my life with parkinson’s. The WEIRD part is that we do this not for the money - but because we LOVE it - we HAVE to do it. And if the time ever comes that we no longer love it we’ll no longer have to do it.
Life is too LONG to do something you don’t love.
If you had the lifespan of an insect then your life would be too short since you would only have time to procreate then die. But, if god sees fit, humans are given a pretty long life - there’s time for rain deer games - there’s time for doing the wrong thing. However, there’s also time to do the right thing... time to really be WEIRD.
just say yes!
meet Andy Ward King, a professional musician and artist until a diagnosis of parkinons dsease at age 49 forced him into an early retirement., he now uses his music, his art along with the whimsical world he has created in this blog as therapy to ( as he puts it ) outsmart his brain and make the daily battles with parkinson’s a little bit easier, to give him that all important reason to get up on the morning, to make his life worth living. Andy has learned how to say NO to gving up \ NO to depression and apathy \ NO to following willingly the road of decline that stretches before him. he learned that to say no to all of these things all one has to do is say yes. Andy has learned to just say YES to life/\\