FIRST OFF - pd is roller coaster - merry-go-round of a disease - a Dr Heckle and Mr. Jive condition where every day is different, every hour is different, every minute is different.
THE STORY -
While window shopping with my Mother back when downtown Jacksonville, mainly the area around hemming park, was the place to be - the city’s town square - the city’s mall, so to speak. While window shopping, my mother exclaimed that we had no money and that we were just “looking”. I said (with all of my 10 year old wisdom) that “It’s OK Mom - looking is just as good as buying.” What a stupid thing to say.
Looking at the Grand Canyon is by no means as good as climbing down into it. Watching people surf is NOT as good as doing it yourself. Watching someone in a wheelchair does not give you much insight into what they have to deal with everyday, a little - but to much. Observing a person with pd, gives you no clue as to what is going on in their body. That’s the way it is...that’s the way it should be. For to truly understand pd you have to have it, something I would not wish on anybody. All the empathy in the world does not put you in my shoes, but I don’t want you in them anyway. There can be compassion without knowledge, You can feel a persons pain without having the same pain. You can drink water even if you aren't thirsty.
I would like to take this time to thank all the wonderful people in my life (especially Kathaleen) that are helping me deal with this pain in the ass house of mirrors of a disease. I know I am not a very good patient and I myself am a pain in the butt. But you stick with me, no matter what. I feel your pain.
I’ve always loved to plan, I would say, much like the youthful observation above that “planning is just as good as doing.” I realize now that planing is just a step in the process of life and not the real thing. The map is not the territory. Widow shopping, looking at clothes you can’t afford - planning a vacation you probably won’t take - are both just notions - silly notions. But, as silly as they both are, and obvious in their simplicity, they both can be fun. Even though it is quite problematic I still intend on planning.
I promise right here - right now to never stop window shopping - to never stop dreaming - to never stop planning. You might have to have pd to really know what it’s like, but you don’t have to die to know what it’s like to take that last trip -to buy that last suit of clothes. You don’t have to die to know what it’s like to be dead, where looking is far better than buying and planning is much better than the trip.
I know this might be confusing to some - my last post was so happy, so upbeat. I’m still upbeat, only in a minor key. Don’t worry I’m still making music - it’s just that it’s Mr. Jive’s turn to play.
THANK YOU FOR READING - YOU KEEP ME RUNNING EVEN IF SOMETIMES ONLY ON FUMES
just say yes!
meet Andy Ward King, a professional musician and artist until a diagnosis of parkinons dsease at age 49 forced him into an early retirement., he now uses his music, his art along with the whimsical world he has created in this blog as therapy to ( as he puts it ) outsmart his brain and make the daily battles with parkinson’s a little bit easier, to give him that all important reason to get up on the morning, to make his life worth living. Andy has learned how to say NO to gving up \ NO to depression and apathy \ NO to following willingly the road of decline that stretches before him. he learned that to say no to all of these things all one has to do is say yes. Andy has learned to just say YES to life/\\