Good Morning Reindeers,
Most every person on this planet will at some point in their life experience the powerful emotion, the powerful condition of romantic love - sexual love - desire. I have, many times, and I genuinely feel sorry for anyone who is denied this seemingly simple benefit of being human. When the object of my affection is near my heart rate quickens, my face goes flush, and when they are away from me I obsess over them - they are all I can think about. I am in Love.
I am in love and being in love is quite like being insane. I have been and I am right now, both. My body is full of natural, free drugs called love.
When i fall in love chemicals such as adrenaline, dopamine, serotonin and the so called “love hormone” oxytocin all go on alert and flood your brain with powerful sensations. Most of the time, especially when the object of your crush or infatuation reciprocates your advances, returns your love, nourishes your love, the feelings these chemicals induce are pleasant. But when your love is unrequited, unreturned, spurned and rejected the roller coaster of emotion experienced can take on a more sinister overtone. They can even cause you to become temporarily depressed. It’s called “love sick”.
People reading this who know me, who know my family, might say “Why is he writing that? He’s in love? What will his wife Kahaleen think? That cad, that bastard - she deserves better.” I reply, of course she deserves better, but that’s beside the point. She will not be upset, angry or worried when reading this because the person responsible for all these sublime chemicals on Safari in my brain is her. She knows it because I tell her so, I tell her so because it is true.
After 31 years of marriage I am still head over heels in love with Kathaleen. She is an exceptionally powerful force in my life. With one piercing glance she can build for me a marvelous sandcastle, a perfect fortress made from dust of the ages - the best one on the beach, and with another tear it down to where it looks like it never existed, a Tibetans Monk’s sand painting - a work of art for none to see. Some say that makes her my soulmate, and I would say they are right, if I believed in such a thing.
She may be my soulmate, the love of my life, my everything, and I may be her, till death do us part, forsaking all others, prince charming on a white horse. But the word soulmate, when used in this context, infers to most people that there is but one person in the world who I am designed to be with. One love - one heart - I say - no way. Just as I find it impossible to believe there is only one path to enlightenment, one path to salvation, one path to God. I cannot accept the premise that in this whole misunderstood world - during my whole misunderstood time on it there is but one person I am destined to love - cherish - and obey. If that were the case there would’t be 7.125 billion of us poor misunderstood critters aboard.
We are creatures deigned to fall in love - fall out of love - designed to hold each other close and to push each other away. To love, honor and obey, and to ignore, shame and defy. Marriage is not the default arrangement in my life. I must constantly... Kathaleen and I must both constantly, upgrade our applications and operating systems. Marriage is a dynamic construct, an aging wooden roller coaster that must be carefully maintained and treated with tender loving care. Also, the carney workers responsible must be aware, enlightened, well trained, well paid and well supervised.
We can’t control who or what we will be attracted too, who we fall in love with. I fall in love almost as often as I change the name of this blogFISH - I just don’t purchase my natural, powerfulI, and legal drugs from these passing fancies. (I assume they are legal / this is Florida after all). l was the total opposite, in physical attributes, of what Kathaleen considered "Her Type”. Her first husband was painfully handsome - tall - well built with long golden locks of thick hair - like a Germanic Ideal - Uber Dude, her soul mate some might say. I, on the other hand, was a sloppy, jobless (by choice) short, fat , and bald musician. Not a fsh you would keep in the boat. Her friends would say “What is an ANDREW?” She was with him only a few years, she has stayed with me of nearly half of her life. Silly Girl. I have always wondered why she chose me when half of the eligible “her type” bachelors in Riverside were camping in tents like Bedouin Gigolos on her front lawn.
I shouldn’t think about it too hard, because maybe I do have soul mate, maybe marriage is my default position. Or, maybe I'm just lucky. Either way I’m still addicted to Katheleen’s love and always will be - The sun is waking up and so is she, time to make her oatmeal receieve, a warm embrace, a good morning sweetheart kiss, and get my morning baggie full of love drugs. Love drugs from my soul mate, my favorite and my only drug dealer.
Better living through chemistry
just say yes!
meet Andy Ward King, a professional musician and artist until a diagnosis of parkinons dsease at age 49 forced him into an early retirement., he now uses his music, his art along with the whimsical world he has created in this blog as therapy to ( as he puts it ) outsmart his brain and make the daily battles with parkinson’s a little bit easier, to give him that all important reason to get up on the morning, to make his life worth living. Andy has learned how to say NO to gving up \ NO to depression and apathy \ NO to following willingly the road of decline that stretches before him. he learned that to say no to all of these things all one has to do is say yes. Andy has learned to just say YES to life/\\