I did it again!!!! I was in the middle of a very alarming post - right in the middle when my flailing arms and writhing torso hit the wrong key and erased the entire essay of agony on my life of late. This is for the best. I used a very powerful (and offensive to most) word, something I rarely do in my writing. It wasn’t required I used it gratuitously and for it’s shock value. I admitted that I was a coward or at least capable of cowardly actions - I did not buck up - I did not keep a stiff upper lip - I did not set a good example - I failed - I no longer inspired, but rather retired to the land of self pity.
I am in pain - extreme pain - emotional as well as physical - and that pain is causing me to lose sight, causing me to stumble in the darkness of that loss. I am tired - extremely tired and that fatigue is clouding my mind causing me to forget all of the wonderful things I have or have yet to receive. But, just as I know that I will talk again, I will be understood, I also know that the veil of darkness will lift. Just as I know I am strong and I am loved and the disease called parkinson’s will not triumph over me, I also know I will receive rest and respite from my weariness. I must be patient.
Life is from God, death is from God, health is from God, disease is from God, pleasure is from God and pain, yes pain, is from God. I cannot pick and choose what God is going to give me, there is no shaking of the carefully wrapped present under the tree to discover what my creator has in store. I must take the darkness with the light - the evil with the good - the pleasure with the pain. This is what I believe - this is what I believe to be true - this is what I believe to be true for me. You must discover what is true for you.
Being the oldest man in my family, the honor of saying grace has been bestowed upon me. It is an honor and a sacred obligation, even though I see things through a diffferent prism than most of my family - they respect my beliefs (or lack thereof). I do so love my family. This prayer is a very special time when everyone stands in a circle, holds hands - shuts their eyes and opens their ears to hear what my far away radio signal of a voice has to say. A while back during this special time I came up with the most absurd and illogical statement I have yet to make. A statement that I now include in every prayer I make (if only to myself).
MY HUMBLE PRAYER OF THANKS
Dear Great Giraffe (my name for God) thank you for all the good things in my life, there are too many to list right now, and thank you for the bad things in my life, of which there are also quite a few, for it is by these bad things that I become able to tell the difference between the two. And most important dear God, my own personal God, to whom I owe eveything and nothing at the same time, thank you for the difference.
just say yes!
meet Andy Ward King, a professional musician and artist until a diagnosis of parkinons dsease at age 49 forced him into an early retirement., he now uses his music, his art along with the whimsical world he has created in this blog as therapy to ( as he puts it ) outsmart his brain and make the daily battles with parkinson’s a little bit easier, to give him that all important reason to get up on the morning, to make his life worth living. Andy has learned how to say NO to gving up \ NO to depression and apathy \ NO to following willingly the road of decline that stretches before him. he learned that to say no to all of these things all one has to do is say yes. Andy has learned to just say YES to life/\\